Grandma Was Churched

Grandma was churched, voted out, kicked out of her church. This was back in the 1920s. My father was then a young fellow in his upper teens, a self-proclaimed atheist. The next day, Uncle Charley, one of Daddy’s older brothers, looked up from his barnyard chores only to see his younger brother walking down the dirt road toward the church, a mile away. He was carrying a pearl-handled revolver. Uncle Charley caught up with his hot-tempered brother and asked: “Harry, where are you going with that gun?” “I’m going to kill that preacher that kicked Mom out of the church.” I don’t know the details of what happened next, but Daddy and the pistol went back to the house rather than to church. A few years later, when I was eighteen-months-old, Daddy left the farm he was sharecropping, and became a preacher himself. For the next sixty years his ministry blessed untold numbers in small churches, a World War II chaplaincy, and in large churches. The last forty of those years brought him great respect and much love. I’ve known the story of Grandma’s being churched and Daddy’s intent to kill the man responsible, but only in recent years have I learned, from one of his sisters, the rest of the story. My grandma, an active and outspoken member of the church, had learned that her pastor was having an affair with a woman in the community. Grandma intended, at the next church business meeting, to inform the church and call for the pastor’s dismissal. However, the preacher learned of her intentions, seized the initiative, trumped up some kind of charges against my outspoken grandmother, and had her voted out of the church before she could act. Thus, her voice was effectively squelched and discredited. I had always wondered why my devout grandmother would be dismissed from a church. Although all of those involved have been long years gone from any earthly involvements, I have written this as a belated public vindication of Emma Roark. This prompted me to do some thinking about strategy and tactics. One of the most effective elements in any kind of conflict is to seize the initiative before you are forced into a confrontation in which you may be at a disadvantage. Another closely related important strategical element is surprise. Grandma lost on this occasion because she did not keep her own counsel. She talked with some others. Who talked with others. Who talked with the pastor. The story would have ended differently if Grandma had done two things: quietly gathered and verified the relevant facts, and then kept it all to herself until she caught the congregation and the minister by surprise. They might not have believed her at first, but since Grandma was a respected member of the congregation, they likely would have listened as she laid out the indisputable facts. As they recovered from their shock, it probably would have been unnecessary for the church to have voted to dismiss the offending minister. I suspect he would have seized the initiative and resigned before it came to a vote.